Tag Archives: Pain

Excruciating!!!!

Writing Assignment brought to us by MamaKat (follow the link in my side column…haven’t figured out how to put it right in here yet!)

This weeks writing seems really hard to me! I was given a list of words and had to choose which one stood out to me more…

1.) Simple.
2.) Angsty.
3.) Excruciating.
4.)Enchanted.
5.) Bold.

First I thought simple…Whew, wouldn’t I love a simple life! Then enchanted…my love seems that magical! But the excruciating pain I have experienced in the last 6 months stood out the most!

Backtracking now… In 1996, I was involved in a pretty yucky car accident and had left shoulder pain since that time! Doctor’s never could provide me with any answers! I finally went to a pain management doctor who did more testing and come to find out that because of all the inflammation in my joint, I now had the joint of a 65 year old. Okay so that still does nothing for me or the pain. After years of treatments that seem to just mask the pain, I went to a different Orthopedic (in 2006) and he did some more testing and found that I had wore away part of my rotator cuff. I decided that I would proceed with surgery! I had no clue what I was getting myself into! They should have group before this type of surgery to explain ALL the pain you will experience and all the daily activities of normal living that you would NOT be able to do after the surgery! I could not pull my own pants up, wash my hair, shave and the list could go on and on! I was blessed to be a part of a family that was very helpful and I never went without and had all the help I needed during this time!

Okay, Okay….Fast forward to 2009! I became pregnant with my lil man! I was having more and more pain in my shoulder but didn’t bother talking to a doctor about it cause I knew there wasn’t anything that they could do! After having Aiden, I was breastfeeding so still no reason to  see any doctor…again nothing that they could do! At about 6 months my lil man started to wean himself :`( so I decided I would followup with a orthopedic in my new town. Yeah, the pain was worse and worse but I just thought it was nothing different than it had been over the last 14 years!  The doctoer ordered a special MRI, where I had to have dye injected directly into my joint prior to the MRI so that they could differentiate between scaring (from my previous surgery) and new injury. Got that done…Still hurting but I thought I just needed a cortisone injection and then I could go about my business for another couple years…LOL

It was a beautiful day in June…I was sitting at my desk at work when along came my orthopedic doctor…

Me: Hello Dr., How are you?

Him: Good, Did you get your results yet?

Me: Yes, I got the results and disc to bring to your office on Monday.

Him: Let me see the disc and I will give you your results right now!

So, I think awesome. I can be done with all this bother, get my shot and move on!

A few minutes later walks up my doc…

Him: Hmmm, Have you ever been told that you dislocated your shoulder?

Me: NO, Wouldn’t that hurt a LOT?!?!?!

So it seems that at some point I had dislocated my shoulder, tore my capsule and when the joint went back in to the socket, it went in all wonky. I had 2 fluid pockets on either side of the torn capsule.

I thought….When the hell did this happen?!?!?!?! You know on t.v. (lol), they show people with dislocated shoulder with the arm dangling all low and then screaming in excruciating pain as it gets put back into place!

So, I tell the doctor…No surgery for me and he proceeds to inform me that not having surgery is not an option!

WHAT??????? I went through that pain once and was not in the mood to deal with that again. Not to mention that now I have a 6mth old to care for. I was not ready to wean my baby completely and now your telling me I have to! UGH!!!!!

So I think I can hold out through the end of summer (yes, with my shoulder dislocated) until I had my surgery…That was a funny joke! Did I mention that I lift 10lb charts up and down all down from shelf to shelf for my work (at that time). I lasted 2wks before my boss told me not to come back to work until after I got my shoulder fixed. I can remember days where I would lift up the chart (thinking that all was good) only to feel my shoulder pop back out of place. This started to become a daily struggle and it was the most excruciating pain I had ever been in. Down to the core pain, that’s what I felt!

I had the surgery this past June and it was a painful experience but I made it through all the pain and misery and now I am working towards regaining my strength and praying that I will never experience that sort of excruciating pain again and would not wish that pain on anyone!!!!

July 2010